Honest?

I'd be the first to admit that I do not keep it real with myself all the time. Have u ever?...

•         told yourself YES today I will go to the gym and start this new skinny amazing life?
•          or, umm...yeah this person IS my friend ( can we just subtract the minor backstabbings, two faced-ness and wavering loyalty??!!)
• my fav, yep this term im getting a 4.0 or death

            So what I'm trying to say is that if you actaully kept it real ALWAYS you'd only truly be lying to yourself and frankly the thought of lying to yourself is a very odd one. Hmm...so i guess i must drop my "keepin it 100" catch phrase, the truth is im a 87.5 percenter, a B plusser, and on some good days a very good A minuser, but never "ahunnit (one hundred)". lol. 

         So back to these percentages and their relevance to my life. WELL, i have a very high tolerance for bullshit and no i do not always put people in their place if need be and yes i need to immerse myself in the deepest pool of confrontation because thru confrontation you can filter the real out from the sea of fakery (that may come in the form of friendships, or just plain manipulation to the TENTH POWER. hmm...just some long drawn out thoughts as i sit here on the comfort of my one step above a jail like twin sized bed...yea man. 

Let the mind control the wind, let it rage and sweep u off ur feet now FALL girl FALL.

ever feel like??

you just walked right outta heaven? hmmm...lol, one of my goals in this thing we call life is to change the way men feel about women. If I can just change one guy, u know?, then i'll feel very accomplished. It's soo common for many guys to take women for granted and to some degree I can argue that women are way more in touch with their emotions than men, however I do not believe that this natural vulnerability should be undermined. I mean, I dont particularly enjoy getting hurt. But pretty much this post is just a PSA to all guys who have issues w/ coming to terms with their emotions, remember we all vulnerable and we are all afraid of rejection.

pro-feminism. ;)

of course...

I want to tell you, but these words are so heavy and my feelings rest on fleeting feathers. I want to be strong like the Mayans, like calendars I want to predict what we will be tomorrow, but I cant. And this loss of control is unfathomable, i mean how could I? me...who protected my heart with a silver bullet, damn u have managed to transcend reality. damn u have managed to get under my skin, and as long as I hold these words near my infiltrated battle ground, they will continue to permeate my body like a searching virus. It will seek and destroy me so I really have to release before I'm dragged back in.

shit that was a rant, just on my poetry wave :)

Addy.

Yeah Man!

It truly scares me, the fact that I cannot save the world. It hurts me in fact. Sometimes I take for granted how special my life is, how truly blessed I am and how much my family is ALWAYS there. As far as I'm concerned I am the luckiest girl in the world. Yet sometimes, I forget. I do not want my minor problems to control my life anymore, I cannot stress just how clear my mind is. I harbor no hate for anyone and I am truly happy. 

ALL ABOUT ME.

For the first time in a very long time I have been focusing on number one (me). I've spent too long focusing on people who do not put me first, who only care about themselves, who need me to advance themselves. I'm tired of giving all of me and saving nothing for myself. This 2010 I'm gonna focus on the people who truly care, who make me a priority, who think of me and respect me for the person I am. I have found some of these people and I am forever grateful. In summation you're either gonna love me or you're gonna hate me but that is all up to you.